Bin Tere...

There was a loud noise as the car screeched to stop. The man inside the car was in his late twenties, in a black Armani suit, came out of the car. It was raining heavily, but it seemed he does not care any more.

All drenched in rain, he sat there, trying to understand, what happened minutes ago. He felt his phone vibrate and checked it. There were 21 missed calls from his sister – his Di. There were few messages too. All were from his Di. He scrolled down the list. Yes, all were from his Di. Only from his Di. He felt a sharp pain somewhere. It’s high time and now he felt, he should give it a name. Yes. He felt pain in his heart. His heart – Yes – his heart which left him minutes ago.

His phone rang. “Di calling”

Lost and lonely ‘cos you are the only

One that knows me 

I can't be without you

Lost and lonely ‘cos you are the only

One that knows me 

I can't be without you

He had no special interest in this song. But she - his wife - forced him to change his ring tone into this particular song. He did not understand it then. But now, he understood. She had been giving him hints. He was too foolish to understand. Wasn't he? Yes, he was.

Suddenly, a thought flashed in his mind. He took the phone and went through the list of songs. BIN TERE. He never heard this song before. He, may be, must have heard it few times near her. Recently, she had been listening to this song, saying that this is her favourite song now and in near future it would be his favourite too.

He never concentrated on it. May be he never wanted to. But now, he felt the need. He wanted to know why she was so obstinate on his making this song as his ringtone. In fact, this was the first time he, actually, heard the lyrics of the first two lines of the song.

Before he could start playing the song, the song started. “Di calling”

Lost and lonely ‘cos you are the only

One that knows me 

I can't be without you

Lost and lonely ‘cos you are the only

One that knows me 

I can't be without you

Hai kya yeh jo tere mere…

Call was cut. He played the song.

Lost and lonely ‘cos you are the only

One that knows me 

I can't be without you

Lost and lonely ‘cos you are the only

One that knows me 

I can't be without you

Hai kya yeh jo tere mere darmiyaan hai

Andekhi ansuni koi dastaan hai

Hai kya yeh jo tere mere darmiyaan hai

Andekhi ansuni koi dastaan hai

All his moments – all his ‘Darmiyaan’ with her flashed in his mind. How unique was their love. How unique was their story. He still, very clearly remember, how she proposed to him in a filmy way. Yes! She was the first person to confess her love. She was the one who always expressed her love. He never did. At least, not in such an awesome manner. She was awesome. No. She is awesome. She was the unconditional lover. He loved her too. But, he never showed it to her the way she did.

Lagne lagi ab zindagi khaali

Hai Meri 

Lagne lagi har saans bhi khaali 

May be, it’s just before an hour she left him, but only he knew how hard it is to breathe with the idea of her going away from him. All of a sudden his life, his happiness fell like a pack of cards.

Just as if it’s happening in front of his eyes, he remembers her and then suddenly where did she go? Just as the lyrics said – Khaali – empty is his life and breath.

Lost and lonely

Bin Tere…Bin Tere…Bin Tere 

Lost and lonely Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Lost and lonely

Bin Tere…Bin Tere…Bin Tere 

Lost and lonely Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Lost and lonely

Khalish – the pricking sensation, the uncomfortable feeling – is not just in air, ‘it’ is in everything, every moment of his life from past one hour. He just can’t help finding ‘it’ everywhere and in everything. What else would he find in air without her beside him.

Suddenly, the first few lines of the song played and he confused, looked at his phone. “Di calling”. The call was cut and the song continued.

Ajnabi se hue kyun pal saare

Yeh nazar se nazar yeh milaate hi nahin

He couldn't still accept the fact that, she has left him… She left everything and went away. He knew that if she would tell him directly instead of giving clues, he would try his best to stop her, but for her, he understands, for her she shouldn't be stopped. She hid it from everyone that she is going to leave and this is the point that hurts him the most.

Past few days he felt as if she is an ‘Ajnabi’. Every moment he spent with her ought to be special –Anokhe – but it was not so in the past few days.

He could feel the change, the strangeness in the atmosphere – in their conversations – and yes…yes… he just realized, she didn't look straight into his eyes like she generally does. Oh! How stupid he was, not to give any time for all these little hints which she had been giving him.

Ek ghani tanhaayi chaa rahi hai

Manzilein raaston mein hi gum hone lagi

He realized, as he looked at the ‘lonely’ road he is in.He was many times out on roads as this at late nights. But the change is, all he feels now is loneliness and emptiness.

His ‘raasta’ clear – very clear until an hour ago was now filled with ‘Tanhaayi’ – loneliness. Is this all what he expected to happen? Is this all what she wanted to happen? He now has no destination. His life took such a turn that now he is left alone on a road and it’s all left to the destiny to take him where ever it wants to because his destination left him all alone drenched in loneliness.

Ho gayi ansuni har dua ab meri

Reh gayi ankahi Bin Tere 

These lines, especially the word ‘Dua’ took him back to their meeting at Dargah. He still remember how desperate she was to give him the key.

Not far in the past, a week ago, she requested him to take her to Dargah with a puppy face. He couldn't say no to her. After all who could say No to her puppy face?

He, unknowingly, smiled at this thought.

He remember, that day how he observed that lost cheerfulness, the lost glint in her eyes. Just observed. He didn't ask her the reason. He just removed the doubt from his mind thinking it as lack of rest. She works all day long. He didn't try to figure out why she was being dull, why she doesn't want to spent time with him…

Lost and lonely

Bin Tere…Bin Tere…Bin Tere 

Lost and lonely Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Lost and lonely

Bin Tere…Bin Tere…Bin Tere 

Lost and lonely Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Lost and lonely

Yes! She had ‘n’ number of reasons to stay away from him. The more he thought about what would be the reason, the more he felt he was over thinking. How stupid he was !

Raah mein roshni ne hai kyun haath choda

Iss taraf shaam ne kyun hai apna muh mooda

Yun ke har subah ek bereham si raat ban gayi

Hai kya yeh jo tere mere darmiyaan hai

Andekhi ansuni koi daastaan hai

Lagne lagi ab zindagi khaali khaali

Lagne lagi har saans bhi khaali

Lost and lonely

Bin Tere…Bin Tere…Bin Tere 

Lost and lonely

Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Lost and lonely

Bin Tere…Bin Tere…Bin Tere 

Lost and lonely

 Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Lost and lonely

Bin Tere…Bin Tere…Bin Tere 

Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein Bin Tere

Lost and lonely

Something in these lines struck him. He replayed these lines again and again. Yes! There were the lines he was frequently – very frequently listened from her. He heard her singing these lines many a times, every time he heard her singing these lines he felt as if she meant them. He pushed these thoughts aside too. He never tried to put all the ‘HINTS’ she had been giving him…To come to a conclusion.

But now, what can he do!

He is ‘Lost and lonely’ forever. She left him lonely forever and it seems to him that their ‘AnokhiDaastaan’ will be ‘Ankahi’ and ‘Ansuni’ forever. After all she took them away with her into the world of stars. A lightening struck and the phone fell from his hands as he also left the ‘lonely’ road to reach his ‘destination’ – His Khushi…